Out of time

Dear family,

I'm out of time so I'm going to copy and paste what I wrote President Bonham again:

I am still doing well and still loving Silverlake! I love Sister Smith, and I love the investigators that we have been able to find. Sister Smith and I have been able to meet standards twice this transfer, and we plan on making it the "norm" in this area!

Neither Sister Smith or I were feeling very well this week so we had to take some time to rest, but it was cool to see how even though we weren't able to give this week what our "best" has been in past weeks, the Lord took what was our "best" this week and still magnified it. At the beginning of my mission I had this mindset or "Go, go, go!" to the point that I would experience anxiety if I or a companion had to stay in the apartment. It was a good mindset to have, because it was almost like I physically couldn't handle being in the apartment when I knew God wanted me to be out talking to people, but it also wore me down to the point that I finally crashed, partly from exhaustion from things on my mission, and partly from things from before my mission. I've learned a few things in the past months. I won't wishfully say "If I knew then what I know now," because I know that the mission is a growing process and it's a good thing that I am a completely different missionary and person than I was my first transfer in the mission! This week I felt guided to study about the Garden of Gethsemane. This is what I learned:

The atonement of Christ not only gives us the strength to keep going when we are exhausted, but it also gives us the ability to rest when we have begun to "run faster than we have strength." or when "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." We should never take advantage of the atonement to shirk our labors, but we do need to recognize that Jesus Christ died for us because He already knew that there would be times when we would be weak and that He would need to make up for what we are not able to give after we truly have given our all. If we try to give more than we're able to, or if we try to be perfect right now, all by ourselves, then we are not allowing ourselves to use the strength AND the rest that the atonement of Jesus Christ provides. it hurt me to read about the disciples sleeping while Christ was only a stones throw away, suffering for the sins of the world. How could they do that when their calling was to give 100% of their heart, might, mind, and strength? Then I realized that as much as the Savior wanted them to watch with Him, he knew the extent of their abilities as humans. Then in Mark 14:41 he very tenderly and very mercifully says, "sleep on now, and take your rest. It is enough." did He mean that the sacrifice that He had just performed was enough to make up for their weaknesses? I still don't understand completely yet, but I did feel very strongly in my studies this week that there is no greater illustration of love than through our Savior Jesus Christ.

Haley is doing well! Her grandma who passed away came to her in a dream the night before we taught her the plan of salvation and told her she was on the right path. Haley described waking up feeling very warm and in tears. In one of our lessons this week she handed us a homemade baptism invite that she had made for us. Apparently she's made some for others that she has already met in the ward, and she created an event on facebook that she invited all of her family to. Those stories about those super crazy prepared people being led to prepared people that you hear about in Sacrament meetings... they're not just stories, they are real.

Emma is excited to be baptized on the 30th! We had an amazing lesson with her last week where she got emotional, telling her how badly she wants to go to the temple. She can't explain why, because she doesn't feel like she knows much about it, but she feels this very strong urge that she needs to go! Hayley that was just baptized has expressed the same feelings recently, so we're going to help them both find family names in the family history center the next few weeks!

Something that I have learned over and over again on my mission is how absolutely vital members are in order for the work to progress at all like it should. I've been thinking about this a lot in the last few weeks, and I'm planning on writing and sending out a "YOU can be a member missionary NOW!" letter to everyone in the family soon. So stay tuned! It's going to be epic!

Love you all!

Sister Slade